Thursday, April 17, 2008

The Mugwump Strikes

A confused and worried horse owner goes to a certified, bonified, glorified clinician.
She says, "My little Muffy is refusing to go into the arena. What do I do?"
The clinician replies, "Come here and talk to me my fine young lady. I can see by the look in your horse's eye that she is feeling as lost and alone as you. We need to rush you two immediately into counseling, it's imperative that you both sign up for my one week course, My Way or the Highway Horsemanship! Today! Don't hesitate!
How much does it cost? Why, don't worry yourself about that! It's the sacred union between you and this lovely animal that's at stake! How much equity have you got in your house?
You can't load her in a trailer you say?
Then buy these videos, this wavy thingy, and this macrame, gold lame' halter, and sign up for next week's course. How much room is on your credit card? My Way or the Highway Horsemanship is the only thing that can conjoin you and Muffy at the heart!!!!"

Not quite sure, our confused owner takes Muffy to the infamous, Magazine Covered, World Top Tenner, local horse trainer.
"What World Show did you top ten in?" Confused asks.
"The only one that matters ma'am." He drawls. "The one I was at."
"What magazine cover were you on?"
"The only one that matters ma'am. The one I was in.
Now I think this horse of yours is a danger to you and itself. You need to drop it off here and I'll fix ol' Muffy right up.
She might be here for several months, but what does that matter to a horseman like yourself?
The cost is beside the point. Getting this thing trained is all that matters.
Now, you don't worry your pretty little head about this, just set up your monthly auto pay and come back when I call you.
Lessons? Well, I guess so. They'll be an extra $50 dollars a whack. I only give them on weekdays, at 11:00.
You have to work? Well, that's probably for the best, you have to pay for that training right?
Week ends? Oh no, I'm never here on weekends. I have to go Top Ten in my next big show!
Don't worry about a thing! My assistant will ride her while I'm gone.
That's her, that 12 year old kid cleaning stalls....heck of a horseman!
Besides, if it doesn't work out with your Muffy I'm sure we have something around here I can sell you that will make you happy."

And so goes the world of horses. The question is, did Muffy go in the arena?

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