Horse Whispering in Maui

OMG.
I am so chucking this training crap and becoming a horse whisperer. I found a guy that does clinics in the mountains of Colorado, and also in Maui.
I have no idea if he is any good.
I have no idea if I would be any good.
I just have to convince someone in Maui that I'm good.
I'm gonna pick my five good things to teach and start up my whispering.
I looked this guy up.
He's dapper. He has a really cool hat.
His really cool shirt had lots of shiny buttons on it.
He wears his gloves tucked into his chinks.
I bet he had a duster for when it gets cold.
He has a round pen, and a flag.
Most of his clinics leave riding as an option.
OK, I need to be fair here.
I read some of his training tips. He seems good minded, like he knows his stuff.
He generously answers questions sent to him.
He'll be quick to tell somebody to get professional help if it's a dangerous situation.
Maybe I'm just jealous.
I wear faded Walmart Wranglers until they fall off me in shreds.
I've just switched to my "spring" flannel, a cheaper weight of shirt than my "winter" flannel.
My cool hat is the inevitable sweat stained baseball cap you see on every eastern Colorado head.
I'm pretty geeky looking. A little lumberjackish.
I would still love to whisper in Maui though.
Maybe I should get some chinks.