Friday, July 27, 2012

Long Flipping Summer

Hi All,
I'm not gone, not dead, not anything really. Just very tired, hot and disheartened.
Sometimes life gets to be too real to do anything but sit back and watch, and it's been like that for the last few months.
The horses are fine, I'm fine, and I hope all of you are too.
I just haven't been able to sit and write for the last couple months.
Like so many of you, we've had fires, drought, and now the threat of floods. Hay prices are soaring, the heat is staggering, and in my usual way, I have to experience, assimilate, then write.
The reason most of my stories come from the past is it takes me a long time, sometimes years, to digest my experiences and have them reappear in a format I can understand, then write about.
This summer, current events, some personal, some shared by many, have overwhelmed me, and I'm all about the experience, not the writing.
I have some decent adventures coming up in the early fall and have been keeping notes and jotting down outlines for future stories. So I'm thinking I'll be back in the saddle soon, writing and sharing with you all.
In the mean time, I'm stealing away in the very early a.m. to ride when I can. The horses are willing and easy to get along with and give me brief, much needed spurts of joy.
I hope you are all doing the same.
I'm haunting the blogs, keeping up with your adventures, so don't think I'm gone. Just for once though, I've got nothing to say.

Monday, July 16, 2012

How I'm Spending My Summer

"Trying to get everything set up to get a free red, plush, velvet couch for my front porch.  Then all I'd need is a red light, and I could have a lucrative side business."  

 "My board just went up $150.00 a month.
We were just discussing  hooking from one of the empty sheds at the barn to pay the difference.
You're fancy, you get a couch. We're going to use bales of hay.

"I tried to sleep on bales of hay one time.  I brought a sleeping bag into the stack in my tack room, which could hold 40 bales and shared a common wall with Bubilee's stall.
I thought it would make me closer to him, and be romantic in a "I slept with my horse, sweetly amongst the alfalfa..." kind of a way.
Did you know that some bales of hay contain ants?
And that they can sense when some idiot tries to sleep on them?
Also:  hooking on hay makes my privates itch, just thinking about it."

Itchy, ant-riddled privates create more action.

It's like the Tennessee Walker shoeing of the hooker world.

Which draws in the Big $$.

Gives a whole new meaning to the term "Big Lick".
(Can't believe I just said that.)

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Mouthy Monday

I absolutely love reading a story where I can hear the dialect of the storyteller through
the writing.
Flyin'Horse brought us a brand new fresh approach to a good horse story. - Mugs

Have you ever had one of those kinds of colds that make your head feel like
 you’re underwater and you can actually hear the roar of the ocean in 
your ears?  

The kind of cold where you really have to marvel at the amount of pure 
snot that any one human body can produce.  You’re sort of swimming inside
 your own head.  But, and here’s the big thing, have you ever blown
 your nose so hard that something actually spurts out of your eye??
  Believe me it’s as weird as it sounds. It is a pretty complicated duct system up in there though.  It’s like a projectile tear is what it is. 

Anyway that’s the kind of cold I was getting over on the day when 
me and my horse Molly found the dead body. Well a skeleton-y body, 
in a narrow wash in the hills on the east side of the valley where I live.

I say “my” horse Molly because I always do but she really belongs to my 
step-granddaughters who live out of state.  Their dad thought they needed a 
horse to call their own when they come to visit.  That’s sure not very often
 and it turns out they prefer quads to horses anyway.  But that’s a whole 
other story.  Anyway I’m happy to have little Molly here with me and 
I try to take her out for a spin as much as I can even though she’s not my main riding horse.  She’s a barely 14hh Spotted Saddle Horse with two dark 
crackly blue eyes outlined in black eyeliner.  Very dramatic!  She’s built like a 
small tank so I don’t feel too badly asking her to carry my 6’ self and I got
 over feeling foolish on her when I found out what a kick she is to ride.  

When she gaits it’s like riding a wind-up horse and it just makes me laugh.  
Her little head gets to bobbin’ and her fat furry little ears are always perked 
ahead and she’s says ok where are we goin’ now and what are we goin’ to 
do next!  I love that kind of attitude in a trail horse.  So far I haven’t found
 anyplace she won’t go although she will offer an opinion at times.  But I like
 that in a horse too.  Opinions.  Sometimes they’re right.

Anyway  there we were bobbin’ along through this narrow-ish wash with
 out a care in the world heading for home. 
We came around a little bend and bam! Some animal or other had been 
digging at the edge of the wash where it met the bank and spewed out a 
bunch of rocks and dirt into our path.  Pretty big rocks too.

Caught my eye for sure and I’m saying to Molly what on earth could have 
dug all that stuff out into the wash and why?  She wasn’t the least bit 
interested  as she was feeling pretty purposeful about getting home.  Then 
I saw the reason for the digging.  Part of a ribcage was sticking up out of 
the dirt  and some kind of fabric was smushed up around it.  I don’t know 
why I kept going but I did. Maybe because you see bones out there sometimes.  Deer or what have you.  We got about 50’ past and I told Molly sorry girl 
but we gotta go back and check that out again. She did offer a brief opinion
 on that.

The fabric was actually part of a shirt.  Had a tag on it, size L.  There were
 buttons and button holes and a cuff and what looked like a knitted scarf all
 balled up and sticky looking.  I sort of came to and realized there were actual
 flies buzzing around on it and it was February and some kind of god-awful
 smell was making it’s way through my clogged ducts.

The authorities were summoned.   I still  hoped that it was somebody’s big 
family dog that they just happened to dress up in men’s clothing before they 
buried it.  I know,  pretty silly.  But I was worried the cops had come out
 there for nothing. Then I was worried they’d come out there for something. 
Two detectives, a  couple of pokes with a stick and part of the pelvis was 
exposed, a few more pokes and there was the spine.  The remains were 
declared to be human.  Fully intact in a shallow grave as it turns out.

That night at home hubby and I hypothesized  and wondered and speculated. 
We joked; Ribs for dinner tonight, dear?  Yes but perhaps a bit more meat 
on them this time please!  We googled human decomposition rates, we 
googled missing persons, we speculated some more. 

We were dumbfounded. Practically in our backyard!  Well ok, across the 
valley but in a place I ride all winter long!   We had a drink or two to calm 
our nerves and toasted To Herman!  Yep I named him, guess that means he’s 

The porkchop on my plate looked disgusting. Later on. Just me. The morbid thoughts, the awfulness of it all.  Does anybody miss him, will anybody 
be sad?  Or worse, what if nobody has missed him, what if nobody is sad?  
Is life really so cheap and meaningless? What were his last minutes like? 

Why did I find him, is there some cosmic reason that I chose to take 
Miss Molly on a ride on that particular day in that particular wash ?  Or is everything just random like my jaded self tends to think?  I mean come on,
 what’s it really all about Alfie?  The ocean roars, the waves pound.  
I’m swimming inside my head.   I blow my nose hard and something spurts 
out of my eye.  It’s like a projectile tear is what it is.

Monday, July 2, 2012

Passion for Horses

It's out in paperback....