Hi, I'm Jessica, and just wanted to share. LOVE the  blog!
 Why I Love Horses
 I’m going to attempt to put into words the multitude of reasons I  love horses. Of course, as you know, it’s never quite possible, and anyone who  doesn’t love horses would never understand, but I’ll try anyway.
 I’ve always been interested in horses- I literally can’t remember a  car trip that I didn’t scan the roads for horses, or a time that horse books  didn’t excite me. I’ve read them all- the classics, like Black Beauty, National  Velvet, and the Black Stallion. I was OBSESSED with the Saddle Club books- I seriously think  I’ve read every single one. And, more recent, the Heartland books, and the  Phantom Stallion. Mostly just anything I could get my hands on- I have 3  different horse encyclopedias, a bunch of riding and care books, even a book on  horse barns.  And most of my horse exposure up until 8th  grade was just that- in books. My thoroughly middle class family lived in the  suburbs of Chicago- no land, and boarding was a premium. Lessons were something  like $40 for one half-hour. I always gravitated towards the horses whenever I  did see them, and my uncle who lives in Georgia owns mules, so I got some “real world”  experience in the mountains with him once a year. I distinctly remember one year  riding every single day for two weeks- a mandate my uncle made and my cousins  hated.  No one could really understand it; no one in my family was  interested, I had never had lessons, and my parents didn’t really encourage the  obsession- they mostly just tolerated it. I still try to figure out why I  started to love horses, and I guess that’s where I start. 
 Horses are beautiful. I mean, really- just look at them! Grazing,  messing around in a field, or in movement, I was always amazed at the pure  beauty of all horses. As a girl, I guess I’m drawn to this beauty sort of like  I’m drawn to pretty flowers, or jewelry, or sunset views. I’m pretty confident  that’s why most girls go through a horse-crazy stage. But it goes deeper than  that. Why didn’t I just grow out of it, like most do?
 Horses are powerful. Their beauty, along with their awesome  strength, is something I wonder at to this day. I guess mostly I just wonder at  the fact that, at any moment, any horse could say, “screw you!” Pull away, or  trample any human. But they don’t. They don’t want to. They continually lend us  their strength, never asking for anything in return. Wow. If only I could be  like that!
 Horses live in the moment. I started having regular contact with  horses just about the time I went through the worst years as a kid. My friends  all dumped me, I wasn’t doing well in school, and my mom and I had a fight every  day, it seemed like. I would go to the barn, and none of that mattered.  Suddenly, I had a friend that loved me no matter what- as long as I had treats!  I had someone to take care of, and if I made a mistake, it didn’t matter. I  fixed it, and five minutes later, everything was good again. I had control of  this part of my life when everything else seemed to spiral into chaos the moment  I touched it.
 Horses love you. All the time. No matter what. I’ve seen  horses starving to death in a field of dirt come up to the fence and nicker when  someone approached. How can horses love so deeply that even when everyone  forsakes them, they still try? Or the horses who put up with EVERYTHING- upside  down bits, bouncy kids, see-sawing hands, and work until they drop. They never  complain or act up, even when you can’t even believe you’re watching a 10  year old practice her vaulting on her old gelding- who doesn’t especially like  the constant crashing onto his back in the field. 
 Horses trust you. With parents that pretty much strangled the life  out of me as a teenager, trust was huge to me. The horse I feed trusts me to  give him his food every day, without fail. The horse I ride trusts me to tell  him what to do, even if he doesn’t like it. In the barn, I’m trusted with barn  doors, gates, feeding schedules, vaccinations, and countless other literally  life and death things that make me feel important, even when I’m not that  important out in the real world.
 Horses don’t lie. If they’re mad, they let you know! If they love  you, you know that too. There’s no back-stabbing, no doing one thing and  thinking another, and definitely no laughing behind your back. It’s all right  there, in their faces. And there’s nothing better than when they nicker and trot  to the fence as soon as they see you.  Likewise, you can’t lie to a  horse. You can’t pretend you’re not scared or nervous or mad- they know. So you  have to learn to control your emotions, and you have to feel whatever it is  that’s bothering you. I’ve got a habit of sucking all my bad stuff inside and  running away from it, but with horses I can’t. 
 Horses are fun! There’s so much you can do- want to be casual, and  just poke around at home? Trails. Want to compete? Shows- in pretty much any  discipline imaginable. Want companionship, or just to hang out with other  people? Competitive trail, or riding in groups, or joining a barn. Want an  adrenaline rush, or have a need for speed? Jumping, rodeo, or eventing. Want to  get into shape, or really exercise? Endurance, or Ride and Ties. There’s  literally something for everyone!
 When I’m with horses, I’m not the clumsy, shy, disorganized, chubby  nerd who doesn’t quite fit in. I am confident in the fact that I know what I’m  doing, and how to do it. I have tons of friends at the barn! And who could be  clumsy on the back of a galloping horse? Sometimes when I ride, I feel like  grace in motion. My room is a mess- but I’ll spend hours organizing the tack  room, cleaning stalls, or sweeping the hay loft. I live and breathe horses. And  some people just don’t understand, but at least I’ve tried to  explain.
 So, feeling down? Saddle up.
 
 
.... Jessica? Are you me?
ReplyDeleteSeriously, though, I absolutely love this letter. Preach it, sistah.
Sounds like horsaii to me! (and a lot like me, 45 years ago).
ReplyDeleteI told my sister once the best thing about the barn/horses...the very best thing...is that I feel competent even when I don't know exactly what I'm doing.
ReplyDeleteSo very well written and is exactly how I have felt about horses my whole life. I wish I was as articulate about emotions as you are at such a young age! Well done and thanks so much for your words.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I'm sure I couldn't put my thoughts into words like that when I was your age....heck - don't think I can do it now. But I still feel the same way.
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting my thoughts! I've been asked the question "why do you love horses so much?" or more commonly, "why are you going to the barn to clean instead of going with us to (some fun spot that has nothing to do with dust or horse poop)?" I figured it was time to figure it out myself, and this is what came of it.
ReplyDeleteAwesome post! Everyone should be so lucky to have horses in their lives!
ReplyDeleteAAAAAA-men ;o)
ReplyDeleteThank you for this letter, it is helping me remember why I got into horses in the first place. I had to put my four year old down on Sunday morning - we'd been fighting Potomac Horse Fever since Tuesday morning, but he wouldn't respond to any of the medications. He foundered on Saturday night and I had him euthanized on Sunday morning. I've been heartbroken and trying to remember what makes it all worthwhile - this post is a good start.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteLove the post! It amazes me how many people, like myself, are complete horsaii, but do not come from families who have horses. Another thing I love about horses...men and women compete as equals in the same competitions!
ReplyDeleteI do believe that isn't a choice we make. You are either born with the love and need for horses in your life or you are not. Every little girl goes through a phase but it isn't the true obsession that some of us are blessed with. :)
ReplyDeleteThis is me, too...
ReplyDeleteMy husband asked me this week if I got tired of being in the barn (I'm lucky to have my horses at home).
Nope!!! Who could?
Jackie
I'm so sorry Stasha- I've had times in my life where I had to have help remembering I love horses when it just seemed too hard.
ReplyDeleteBarn time = self-time = horse time = pure heaven!
ReplyDeleteYou said it very well for all of us that had parents to said "when are you going to grow out of this phase???". The correct answer, which always ticked off my mom, NEVER. Horses keep me healthy and listen when I need an ear. I told my husband when he proposed... You buy me a horse and I'll marry you.
ReplyDelete