Thursday, June 30, 2011

Life

Hey guys,

I've had a long couple of weeks. An immediate family member is in the hospital (not the kidlette or me) and it's one of those eye awakening deals when everything outside the immediate day to day, second by second moments fall away.

I am able to write again because my little immediate world has expanded from guarded to cautiously optimistic.

My thoughts still go to my horses. I've been able to steal away for one brief ride and I'm working to get my horse time back into a regular schedule, I have yet to establish anything remotely resembling a schedule, but the term cautiously optimistic applies here also.

Instead I let my wild and crazy imagination take me away on my horses, much like it did during my horseless childhood days. As I slip into an uneasy doze, the Black has been replaced by my beautiful mare. She takes me for a fast and furious ride. When I drive around town on my mundane errands she travels just outside my peripheral vision, my little dun colt right behind her. Even using "soft eyes" doesn't let me quite see them, but I take great comfort knowing they are with me.

When we hit a difficult patch and I just can't absorb anymore I hear the drum of hoof beats turning to thunder as my horses come to save me, the building crescendo sweeps me away from this reality. I thought this childhood escape was years lost, but it has come back to buffer me and I am grateful.

Our shared horse stories have been incredibly important to me. I'm going to rely on them over the next few weeks as needed. I'll join in on comments and lose myself in them as I read them out loud here in this cold room without the lingering smell of horses go bring comfort.

So I plan on hitting my stockpile of stories you have sent and will add my own as I can. I am going to have to let the tough stories slide for awhile, so expect some more Mort stories and some other warm and fuzzies as they come to me.

I'm a huge believer in the power of story telling, so don't worry if your stories are sad, they will still give us conversation, thought and for me, healing. I'm throwing the blog out to you, I hope you will flood the blog with some grand horse stories and leave me to comments and conversation.I'll still write, but would love the luxury of kicking back and enjoying your tales for a while.

And please forgive me if I turn into Miss Perkypants for, it's temporary and totally fake, but necessary, at least for now.

Mugs


Great Gotlands sent some much needed humor, and Jen, thanks for the kind words.

Gotta Love Horses…

I woke up real cranky this morning.

The Sqwid kept waking up last night (he is teething AND just getting over a nasty cold). Each time he was up at least an hour. So not much sleep... again.

My wrist aches; I have DeQuervins Tenosynovitis, AKA "the Sqwid is a heavy lump that refuses to let me put him down".

Then I look outside. Despite the Almanac saying that it is now Spring, I see no sign that Winter is leaving. It is sleeting. Big, nasty, wet flakes. Mother Nature obviously hates me (Yes, I am taking it a bit personal). The horses are standing at the fence, wet, filthy and glaring at the house. They are PISSED! Good, I'm not the only one!

I sigh and start to bundle myself up against the cold and wet. I had best go out and feed and blanket them.

Evil Poneh is not too bad off, her coat is thick and long and fluffy; the wet rarely penetrates to her skin. But she hates rain. I know, she's a mustang that thinks she's a TB! I can practically hear her plotting nasty things to do to me.

Big Red is not as well off, while his coat is thick and plush it does not seem to repel water. He gets soaked to the bone quickly. And while it is amusing to watch him get pissed and beat up the Evil Poneh, I should blanket him against the cold.

I trudge out and pour their warm slop into their bowls and toss them plenty of hay to keep them distracted. I feed Red first, just to watch EP stomp around thrashing her head. And she does stomp. All four feet. I giggle. I'm mean. Bwahaha. I'm starting to feel a little better.

I pull out Red's shoulder slinky and fancy turnout shell. Swearing as I wrestle the slinky over his wet shoulders. It's like trying to pull off slim fit jeans while wet. Then I toss on the shell... then I chase after him to try and get it done up since I was to lazy to also pull out the halter and lead. More swearing.

Finally Red stands still and lets me do it up and yank on it to try and get it sitting right. Good boy, he gets a pat.

Then it's EP's turn. I pull out the old quilted blanket I got for $5 at a used tack sale and had to do major repairs on. It kinda fits. (See my priorities?) EP is very good and stands still while I toss it on, understanding that it keeps off the rain and is a good thing. I am almost bucked up when I hear a snort behind me.

It's Red. He has just spotted the "new" horse. He prances over to meet this pretty new burgundy coloured mare. She sidles nervously away. After all, she is at "his" hay pile. I flap my arm at him to keep him off until it get her safely done up. Then I stand back to enjoy the show. It goes something like this:

"Hellooo. My name is Redoubtable. I am a big, handsome boy. See my prancing side pass?"

"Uh, Mom?! What wrong with Red?!"

"Spring is in the air, pretty lady. Heh heh heh."

"MOOOOM! Save me! He's gone crazy!"

"I am strong and fast and have a pretty arching neck. See?"

"Ahh! He's chasing me!"

"Come back, mon cherie! It is love at first sight, no?!" (been watching lots of Loony Tunes lately)

I love horses. I walked away laughing. Beautiful day out.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

**Sorry about your toubles but your blog is timeless**

where's the "like" button? =)

Becky said...

I thought I was the only one who did the soft eyes thing.

It sounds cliche to say my heart goes out to you, but it does. I don't know what else I can possibly do that would help, so I guess I'll just open up Word and get to writing.

I hope things get better soon for you, and if they don't, I hope the bad times are brief, fleeting, and quickly replaced by the sun.

I heartily recommend making a nighttime voyage out to the stables. Maybe it's just me, but it seems more healing at night, surrounded by scent and sound rather than sight.

Shanster said...

I'm sorry life is throwing you curve balls. Hang in there - we'll be sending well wishes your way....

Laura Crum said...

Hope things take a turn for the better. Good wishes.

Fetlock said...

I'll take "cautious optimism" over "guarded" any day. Love the story you posted. I have a friend whose beautiful palomino TW stud preferred dark-colored mares (the darker, the better). He fell in completely in love with my black QH mare--to the point where he braved hotwire one night to get to her. Star-crossed romance for sure. Best wishes streaming out your way--and say hey to Colorado for me (I'm from Littleton).

Heidi the Hick said...

Well if there's one thing I've learned doing the blog thing it's that we are not alone. And also people forgive us when we need time off. Unexpected and really reassuring eh?

Loved that story. My red horse was like that too... Put a fly
mask on a mare he'd see every day of his life and suddenly he's all WELL HELLOO THERE MYSTERY LADY!!! Dude, it's Copper. Normally you can't even be bothered to notice her. Maybe it's a red gelding thing. ?

I agree with what Becky said. Spend some time with your horses after the sun goes down. Their energy is different. It's soothing. They are such good healers!

Merri said...

Hugs for Mugs!
- The Equestrian Vagabond

Helen said...

Best wishes to your family member in hospital, Mugs.

Anonymous said...

When life is tough, I take a timeout to ride my mare in my mind. The sound and vibration of a steady lope is hypnotic. The sweet smell of my mare while I "ride" completes the sensation. I feel her legs, back and shoulders move underneath me. Her ears move to watch what is coming, then move back to me, rhythmically. Her breathing is even. It is always a perfect ride that calms the pace of life.

Breathe said...

Will be keeping you in my thoughts. We have been on the medical rollercoaster many times.

Being funny and light *is* the way to go, IMHO

Val said...

I am sorry to hear about your family. I hope for the best.

mel said...

So sorry about what you're going through. We've had our share of tragedy this spring too. Somehow I keep waking up to live another day and it gets a bit easier bit by bit. You'll get though. Not that it makes it fun though... You'll be in my thoughts.

I haven't been able to own a horse for about 10 years but I'm still as obsessed as I ever was. I stay sane through my daily trail run. Did you know a 30-something year old woman can still approximate a pretty good x-country ride while running? I have a long history of running through the woods "on horseback" jumping logs, streams and banks (starting from about time I could walk). I don't have my hobby horse with me anymore though. I even find myself unconsciously doing lead changes, seeing lines and counting strides. Good grief. I'm such a dork. Usually I'm "riding" my old Morgan mare (who passed away in 2001). Even though I don't have her with me anymore, she still helps me cope.

BTW, update: I asked your advice (a couple of months ago) about a rescue mare with a bad kicking problem I'm working with. She's doing great now. The first session she tried to double barrel me numerous times. The second she only tried twice and after that, not at all! yay! she's well on her way to being a good citizen. Thanks for the moral support.

Whywudyabreedit said...

I had hoped that your absence was due to long summer days and evenings spent with the horses. Hang in there, I am rooting for you and your family member.

I am leaving today to go horse camping for three days. That means gorgeous rides during the day and munching, shuffling, shorting horse sounds at night.

I am glad to hear that your horse fantasy escapism is continuing to work well for you in adulthood.

Take care Janet.

nagonmom said...

I too was hoping you were on a lovely vacation. Sorry your family member is sick. Hope everyone is out and about soon.

mugwump said...

Mort had severe emotional problems....Pepe Le Peu is perfect! He was quite the man and humiliated me more than once with his romantic old self.
Horses with a sense of fun and humor are the best.

GreatGotlands said...

My thoughts are with you.

When I am finding things rough, what I always do is walk out to my horses, drape my arm over the Evil Poneh and press my face to her neck. I LOVE that smell. And it always works.

mommyrides said...

Thinking of you Mugs. Hope that you are having better days even now and that healing is taking place all around you.

Hug your horses for whatever time you can spare. Taking care of you will help you take care of the people around you, don't forget that. We run on a full tank way longer than we run on empty.

Praying for you and your dear ones.

HorseOfCourse said...

I hope things are improving Mugs, and I send my thoughts and best wishes to you and your family.
How wonderful that your horses are with you, still.

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