I am worried about the horse industry in general and especially about my own personal horses.
What will happen to them if they are not in my care? How many horses ended up in a can because I failed to make them a serviceable animal? Do some of them deserve to be euthanized because I failed as a trainer?
My biggest question is, Who the hell am I to decide whether a horse deserves to live or die? Is it simply ego talking if I assume I'm the only one who can be responsible for the horses I own?
My mare Loki is an example. If Loki colicked and the only chance for her to make it was surgery,I would put her down instead. Why? Because Loki comes from a line of horses who die from colic. She is a sensitive mare and gets colicky from stress, change or a bad scare. She colicked within 24 hours of having Leeland and was in severe pain for several hours. The vet wasn't particularly worried about her but he did say she could do this every time.
She does best on a pasture with no supplements except hay. In a stall she does well with free choice grass hay and a couple of flakes of alfalfa. Again, no grain or supplements. She loses weight easily and gains it back slowly.
Loki is a talented and lovely mare. I owe her a lot. She is the kind of horse you can hop on after months off and she'll just tool around nice as can be. I take care of her as best I can and would be broken hearted if I had to face the decision to operate on her or not. Because I wouldn't. There are so many things that can go wrong with a colic surgery it would only add to her list of ailments.
Laura Crum recently made the decision to fork out huge amounts to have surgery done on her son's horse, Henry. Henry is 20 years old.
Do I think it was a good idea? Yes I do. The horse is in the middle of raising her son. He is as healthy as, well, a horse. He is tough and safe. I'd have paid it too.
Leeland was born a bilateral cryptorchid. When I was pricing out his surgery I was really horrified. I kept getting bids from $1,200 to $2,300. In my mind this was a $1,000 colt. I was really stuck behind a rock an a hard place. To my mind, he was unlike Henry, Laura Crum's horse. Henry had proven himself and was also truly needed. I wasn't sure about my little colt, no matter how much I liked him.
It made me wonder how many of these colts end up at the sales, a situation I'll do anything to avoid.
Bilateral cryptorchids develop stud mannerisms, big old stud heads and are often stunted if they aren't gelded.. So you end up with a butt ugly pain-in-the-ass. I knew that wasn't an option.
I told my boss I was considering putting him down if I didn't figure something out.
She was horrified.
"Don't you have a credit card?" She asked me.
Keep in mind this is the paint breeder who is losing her house. She also has a yearling filly who was born deformed. She's incredibly crooked. The theory is she was too big for the mare she's out of. There have been thousands dumped into this filly. She will never be rideable. She is already showing signs of arthritis.
"I'm dragging myself out of a mountain of debt," I told her, "I don't use my credit card for anything any more. I have to figure out how I'm going to live when I'm old. I've made a few rules and I stick to them. One is no elective surgery on my horses unless I have the money in the bank. I don't."
I did work it out. I found out Leland was sterile so I could leave him on the pasture. I left him intact (or is that sucked up?) until he was two. I saved enough money to get him done after I found a vet that would do it for under $1,000. I made sure I could afford half again that much in case something went wrong. I also found help through a rescue (front range equine rescue) who reimbursed me 30% of my vet bill. They would have given me 50% back if I decided to euthanize him. They're great.
He's much happier now and so am I.
By facing the fact that I would put him down before I ran him through a sale I was able to get things in perspective. It also mobilized me so I found a way to get him done.
I feel I was being responsible for my horse.
When I moved from my last job as a trainer I decided to put my beloved 32-year-old Annie down. She was blind. She was arthritic. Was she reasonably happy? I think so.
But now I had to move her. She would have to get oriented again. She had to live through the fire of being established in a new herd. She had never tolerated being kept in a stall or run, I wasn't going to do that to her.
I feel I was responsible for my horse.
Then there are the horses I couldn't ride. If you read the Captain story you know how I felt about him. I knew I could ride him, but he kept hurting everybody else. I felt he was a danger to himself and others. I felt he should have been put down. His owner told me she regretted not having him destroyed.
BUT... She gave him to a John Lyons trainer. The John Lyons trainer learned the hard way how weird he was. She was afraid of him for quite awhile. But she couldn't leave it. She kept working with him. She rides him all of the time now. I hear he's becoming quite the dressage horse. She's planning on keeping him, because she would never unleash him on someone else, but she likes him.
So who am I to decide that I'm the only one who can ride a tough horse?
I started a big, fat, Hancock-bred, blue roan mare. She bucked so hard, neither I, my young and bouncable assistant or the local buckaroo could stay on her. I turned her back to the owner with some dire warnings and she took her out to a guy who trains out of T-Cross ranch. She threw him often, tore down a solid timber round pen and broke his arm. But after 7 months he got her done. I hear she still bucks some, but the gal loves her and still has her.
Who am I to say if I can't ride them, they can't be rode?
So I'm slowly changing a lot of my previous lines of thought.
I still believe if I breed it I'm responsible for it. It's what I consider responsible that is changing.
I think all my horses need to have a solid base on them, not just tricks for the show pen. They need to be kind. They need to be willing. They need to be patient.
I have to keep my own situation healthy, physically and financially, so I can take care of my horses the way they need to be cared for.
I also need to get back to work. Later.