Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Hate, Hate, Hating This

Let me tell you. This is making me sad.

The 2014 Mugs/Big K Clinic is cancelled for this year. My freaking health issues are bigger than my determination/drive/refusal to accept reality/fantasy world, whatever you want to call it.

I am pretty sure, if I start behaving myself, listening to my doctor's advice, blah, blah, blah...I will find a balance. It turns out, my tried and true way of handling illness, "Ignore It and Work Harder," isn't working out on this one.

A 2015 clinic is a likely possibility. Many of my issues, although related to the designated monkey on my back, are of my own doing. I've been informed, if I'll cooperate with the folks out there ready to help me, the gorilla I've been packing around can be whittled down to at least a chimpanzee.

And yes, I'm perfectly aware gorillas and chimps are not monkeys, but the visual is too good, so let it ride.

I apologize to those of you who signed up and scheduled your time, I really do. Contact me via email with questions.

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry to hear this. Not just that the clinic is cancelled, but that it is due to your health issues. That was my immediate fear when I saw the cancel across the clinic ad.
I soooo enjoy reading your posts and would love someday to ride with you. You are full of wisdom (hard won), courage, and humor yet you don't pound us with "my way or the highway". Here's hoping that the gorilla can be whittled all the way down to a gibbon (still an ape, albeit a much smaller one).

mugwump said...

Thanks anon.

redhorse said...

Alright if I start now, I might make it by 2015.

I hate it when I'm told it's all my fault. I hate it when I have to do what I'm told. I will admit, however, that I feel stronger this year than I did last year, so maybe it's working a little.

I hope you start feeling better real soon.

gtyyup said...

I'm so sorry Janet...but you've got to get yourself better. John and I are talking every other year for a trip to Montana...so 2015 it will be! You can do it...follow those instructions!

SquirrelGurl said...

Ugh... so sorry to hear this! I too come from the "work through it" camp and it's tough to admit that sometimes you gotta take a seat for a bit.

Here's hoping you get to feeling better real soon! I'm hoping that maybe 2015 will be the year I get to ride with you too so take care of yourself and get to feeling better!

Susie Arnold said...

So Sorry to hear this, but as one "If I ignore this" to another "If I ignore this" I can certainly feel your frustration.

Folloy the doctor's orders and get better.

mugwump said...

SquirrelGurl - It's not about taking a seat...it's about yoga...learning how to de-stress and delegate...physical therapy that cuts into my horse time...and another one, Qi-Gong, like those people you see doing slo-mo moves in parks.
I'm going to look pretty funny doing knee to nose in my spurs. Grumble Grumble Grumble

Heidi the Hick said...

Forgive yourself.

SquirrelGurl said...

Qi-Gong? I'll have to check it out, I've been told I need to de-stress a bit too. I've tried yoga but my mind wanders which I think is exactly what isn't supposed to happen?!

zebradreams07 said...

I suppose the upside is by next year I might actually have my s*** together and be able to make it! Does that make you feel better? No?

redhorse said...

On the other hand, I hear equine therapy is good for PD. If your Dr. could subscribe it for you, maybe you could write off the horses?

Pishkeen said...

Aww Mugs, that totally sucks. On the other hand, what Zebra said; next year I might actually be able to attend! Good things are worth waiting for, and your health is high on the list of good reasons to wait for good things. Hmmm, not sure that made sense. I'm going to go get more coffee.

mugwump said...

redhorse - can't get them written off, but the docs agree the entire point is keeping me in the saddle. Riding and walking are my two most important goals for the moment. I've got my dogs for the walking part, my horses for the riding part, you guys to gripe and celebrate with, it will all work out.

Anonymous said...

You probably wouldn't believe how heroic you are if we told you. So I'll just say that you're someone I try to emulate.
And this is my first ever online post.

Jan Blawat said...

A friend of mine had a stroke about 6 months. She was in the pits of depression and feeling very guilty about not "taking care" of herself. She has been in a physical rehab facility and wasn't happy about being taught how to cope with the life she has now. Yesterday I got the greatest phone message from her: They finally gave her a walker. She didn't just shuffle up and down the halls, she took the danged thing and pushed it to the top of the hill behind the hospital. For the first time, she feels like she has some control over her life again. All of us have times when we feel less like ourselves and more the victim of circumstances. Just go with it for a while, gather your strength, and when the opportunity to climb back in the saddle comes around, you'll be ready for it.

Heather said...

Sometimes, you have to do what you have to do. Get yourself well and flexible. The 2015 clinic will be spectacular. :-)

Becky said...

Ditto what Heidi said.

Anonymous said...

I hate it when what I thought would work to keep me healthy, doesn't. Finally decided to learn to listen to my body, because if I didn't, it would be a karmic bitch. First step of learning something new is to forget your previous learning. You have great goals (riding and walking). But days will come when unanticipated resting and napping are great goals, because it will give you back the riding and walking parts. Let it go, and learn to do what it takes to get back the parts of your life that you cherish. Always pulling for you, Mugs. Amy in Ohio

Clancy said...

I am sorry to hear this Mugs, your determination to keep going and get what you want done despite obstacles is very inspirational.

We tend to be so much harder on ourselves than on others. :) I'll bet if you were a much loved horse of yours you'd be more than willing to put the time into doing the things you needed to do to get your health issues under control. I find seeing myself in that light (ie pet or friend) gives e much more patience with my foibles and helps me work around them.

Take care and very best wishes.

Cindy D. said...

So sorry to hear this, I know it was important to you. I also agree with what Heidi said.

mugwump said...

Amy in Ohio...I am taking that on as my new secret name...Karmic Bitch

Helen said...

Mugs, much as we were waiting with bated breath for the debriefs from the clinic, your health is more important than anything at this point!
Physical therapy rocks, I have to say. I was given some "clinical" pilates by a physio, and my left knee, which has not worked for some years, now works. Trying to think how I can carve out some time for some old-lady re-riding lessons! W00t! I hope you benefit hugely too from whatever PT the doctors recommend for you.

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